


got your mother in a whirl

by major_toms_a_junkie



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Daily Bugle, Humor, IronDad and SpiderSon, Irondad, Multi, Social Media, Superheroes, Twitter, im tryin not to add alot o tags bcuz i dont wanna b like That, spiderson, uh more characters will be added as it goes, yea its one of Those fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/major_toms_a_junkie/pseuds/major_toms_a_junkie
Summary: Everyone and their mom loves the newest superhero/vigilante, Spider-man. So, why wouldn't they follow him on social media? ...Even if some of his posts are a bit questionable.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 127





	1. flash is a stan account

**Author's Note:**

> hi an welcome. this is my first attempt at a twitter fic, and at a fic for the marvel fandom. i usually stick to ffn and have written a whopping 8 pics for a fandom that has about 3000 pics over there but still has less than a thousand fics over here. crazy amiright  
> anyways im not very familiar w the marvel fandom and shit i just think peter parker/spiderman is a pretty funky character s o were gonna take it from there and see how it goes!  
> also wow formatting is hard i had it all done up nice n pretty on google doc and archive straight up ruined it. so if anyone can tell me how to change the size of the text on here so i can make it pretty again that would b nice

**Man of Spiders** **_Follow_**

@iamspiderm4n

Friendly neighborhood spiderman! Tag me if you need help, i will do my best to come!!

He/Him

Following Followers

30 934k

  
  
  
  


**Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

Hi new york!!1! Plez dont come near byantt park someone started a fire xoxo

**Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

Hi new york!! Fires put out all is safe!! No one was hurt also plez dont start more fires xoxo

**Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

Hi new york1!1 ok plez stop starting fires i litrally just put on out ok dont do this to me anyways the apartments near bryant park Dont go thxs xoxo

**#1 Spidey Fan** **@flashthompson**

Spiderman!! Please reply to me!

**Robin Baby** **@robinublind**

Hey spidey! I live there, so thanks for the warning!

 **Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

Hi robin!! Np glad i could help also its safe to go back now xoxo

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

PLEASE RESPOND ITS FOR SCIENCE I NEED YOU TO RESPOND

 **Robin Baby** **@robinublind**

Thanks spidey! 

**Grilled cheese** **@mmmham**

Fkdjsfkj this dude,,, so fuckin cute signin all his tweets w hugs n kisses.

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

everyone say thank you to the nice lady who buys me churros she keeps me fed xoxoxoxoxo

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

one day i will recreate the 'its Wednesday my dudes' vine. one day. xoxo

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

autocorrect rlly do be out here ruining my lowercase aesthetic by capitalizing Wednesday :/

**sweetheart @kittensoverpuppie**

I think you forgot to sign your tweet!! :0

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

xoxo

**JJJ @JJJameson**

Everyone thinks that Spider-man is so cute when hes out there DESTROYING LIVES and KILLING PEOPLE and being a MENACE TO NEW YORK!!!!

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

he SAVES people! Spiderman is not a bad person!!

**Hypen Nazi @respectthehyphen**

*Spider-man

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

i think i would know how to write his name better then you would, he borrowed my car once to fight a villain ://

**Hypen Nazi @respectthehypen**

Okay, fancy man, tell me everything about Spider-man. Please, go on.

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

okay it is time to sleep plea don't do anything bad while im asleep new york xoxo

**m @m1chellejones**

buddy you do realize there are other vigilantes in new york your not the only one helping out the people

**#1 Spider Fan @flashthompson**

SHUT UP MICHELLE YO DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM

**m @m1chellejones**

jesus christ i forgot that flash is a stan account,,,,


	2. mmmmmmmmmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow people are quick to read this! glad to know! i kinda do write this on the spot tho so like its all random thoughts that go thru my head throughout the day
> 
> (would still like to know how to make words smaller plez halp me i am stupid)

**m _Follow_**

**@m1chellejones**

She/Her

I am surrounded by idiots. Please help me.

 _Following_ _Followers_

18 52

**m @m1chellejones**

Every day I think, wow, everyone is so fucking stupid.

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

mj we literally go to a stem school 

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

Shut the fuck up Penis!!!!

**m @m1chellejones**

Flash has actually just proven my point :)

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

yea nvm i get that

**m @m1chellejones**

Dont buy stark phones xoxo :)

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

:(

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

Shut the fuck up Penis!!!!!

**m @m1chellejones**

Jesus Fucking Christ

**m @m1chellejones**

The only reason I even think about Stark is because Pepper Potts is the CEO of that company, therefore, she is the only one that deserves rights.

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

your right 

**m @m1chellejones**

Of course I am :)

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

Shut the fuck up Penis!!!!!

**m @m1chellejones**

I swear to god Im going to block you I do not care if we need you in the AcaDec chat I will not hesitate your so fucking annoying

**m @m1chellejones**

Sometimes I look at Eugenes twitter account and I think..... What The Fuck

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

My Twitter is a thousand times better than yours is!!! Its about SPIDERMAN

**m @m1chellejones**

Isn't there a hyphen there buddy :///

**Guy in a Chair _Follow_**

@ledneeds

He/Him

I could probably hack into twitter right this moment

_Following Followers_

243 55

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

DUDE I JUSTLsjFLKSJDF

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

HOLY FUCKJFISJFLSDJF

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

BRO

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

B R O

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

B R OO !!!!

**m @m1chellejones**

Please just text each other about whatever fucking legos you bought please your clogging up my important twitter feed.

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

:(

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

ANYWAYS before I was so RUDELY interrupted by MICHELLE look at the new legos that me and Peter bought !! !

(image attached)

(attatched image contains a slightly blurry photo of a Lego Starwars Millennium Falcon)

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

YOU FINISHED IT HELL YEAHHH

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

THATS OUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

I PUT THE LAST FEW PEICES ON AND ALMOST DROPPED IT RIGHT THERE LIKE HOLY SHIT

**theres a b?!? @peterbparkerr**

im going to fucking cry i swear holup im coming over rIGHT now

**m m1chellejones**

smh my head.... Boys....


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what kind of universe this is set in but yknow no one is dead/dying everyone hates thanos and the rogue avengers were let back into the states but that doesn't mean all of them are forgiven   
> not pro cap or pro ironman at all but peters def gonna have some Opinions

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

rating the other avengers because im totally not petty or anything,,, a thread!!!! XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXO

|

|

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

ironman is 8/10 for reasons that i will not state :))))) (1/?)

**Missy Lou @Discoatthepanic**

Those smiley faces absolutely terrify me I think that Ironman has done something that he will regret,,,

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

War Machine is 10/10 because he is Very Nice To Me :D (2/?)

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Black Widow is 1000/10 because if I say anything less then she will probably find out who I am and show up at my apartment and kill me!! (3/?)

**m @m1chellejones**

Iconic. As she should.

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Scarlet Witch: 9.5/10 because I think shes about to give away my hiding spot :'( (3/?)

**Ana @anasbananas**

why are you hiding, spider-man?

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

its not even that im hiding from them im just chillin and no one has noticed where im chillin yet :p xoxo

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Dr Banner is 11/10 cuz i think he noticed me but idk for sure because he hasn't given me away yet thank you :D (4/?)

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

By extension, the Hulk is 12/10 because he is always very nice to me and calls me 'small spider child'. xoxo.

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Thor is 10/10 because he is always perfect. Hes not even in the tower right now i just KNOW. because THOR (5/?)

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n]**

Ant-man isn't in the tower right now either but were Bug Buddies so i GUESS i can give him an 8/10 :/ (6/?)

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

The Falcon is 7/10 because hes mean to me >:[ (7/?)

**m @m1chellejones**

I stg if I see you type out that face ever again I will personally murder you.

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

>;]

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Hawkeye is 5/10 because he is hiding somewhere and my spideysenses are on edge at every moment i just KNOW hes going to jump out and scare me (8/?)

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Hawkeye has been demoted to 3/10 because hes making noises in the vents that he KNOWS i can hear but nobody else can hear them

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Vision is only a 9/10 because hes scary and knows everything but im pretty sure that Scarlet Witch will murder me if i give him a low rating (9/?)

|

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Captain Marvel! 10/10 I love her cat although she claims the cat is an alien but i really dont believe that like it looks like a normal cat there is nothing wrong with that cat it can do no wrong

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

would like to clarify she is not in the building she is up in space but she was very nice when i met so im including her :p xoxo

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Black Panther is also not in the building but I feel the need to say that he is only 8/10 because he wont let me and Shuri meet up again >:[ (10/10)

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Because she deserves it, Shuri is 15/10, we blew up a whole lab! Also shes a genius and i think she is smarter than all of the avengers

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

ANYWAYS thank you for reading hope you enjoyed uhhhh have a nice day im pretty sure hawkeye is coming for me im probably abfdsjt to dieiff

**Turtle @iamaturtle**

f in the chat for spider-man

**Missy Lou @discoatthepanic**

f

**m @m1chellejones**

f

**Robin Baby @robinublind**

f

**Grilled cheese** **@mmmham**

f

**#1 Spider Fan @flashthompson**

SPIDERMAN IS NOT DEAD

**Hypen Nazi @respectthehyphen**

*Spider-man

**Guy in a Chair @ledneeds**

f

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment w ideas u would like im mostly just using stuff that I've seen in other fics rn


	4. qna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ofc every twitter fic has to have the qna chapter  
> also most of the usernames are just memes and songs so plea give me username ideas  
> and yea im adding a few vigilantes bcuz i like them :D

**Harold @yesiknowtheyrelesbians**

@iamspiderm4n what do you do for a living

**Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

,,,,fight crime ofc xoxo

**Lucy in the Sky @heyheyheyheyy**

I think that Harold means like what do you get paid for during the day

**Man of Spiders** **@iamspiderm4n**

i hate to be rude but i genuinely cannot tell you what i do during the day. secret identities and all that jazz.

**Lucy in the Sky @heyheyheyheyy**

Aaah, I get that.

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

a few people have started asking questions so if you want to ill do a QnA! use the #spideyqna so I can find everything!

\----

**Gwen @ihavebiggerdreams**

do your webs.... come out of you... #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

I think Im going to puke that is so nasty oh my gosh no i make them in a lab

\----

**Robin Baby @robinublind**

Whats the worst part about being a superhero? #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

1- legally im not a superhero im still a vigilante 2 - i hate when someone has done really bad things and i know they're gonna get out so i have to knock them out.

**Caroline @notcoraline**

Wait I thought you were an avenger? You go to the tower? and fight with them?

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Yea Mr StaRk makes me come over because 'we have to fix your things ad put in upgrades' but i was informed its bcuz hes worried about me :D

\--

**Spideys Girlfriend @melaniamelodiamelody**

I saw that your technically a vigilante! Do you interact with any of New Works other vigilantes? #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

A few, but not alot! We all fight differently it would be a disaster if we teamed up.

**\---**

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

COULD YOU PLEASE SAY HI TO ME IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN #spideyqna

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

@iamspiderm4n WHY WONT YOU REPLY

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

@iamspiderm4n WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

@iamspiderm4n WILL YOU PLEASE COME TO MY PARTY PLEASE #spideyqna

**brooks @iwarnedyouboutthestairs**

Dude do you not think spamming him is a bit rude.

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

Nahhh were friends!

**brooks @iwarnedyouboutthestairs**

If you two were friends, you would think that you would have his number...

\---

**Ironmans Metal Ass @stevengoodwill**

Hey what are the rest of the Avengers like? @spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Your screen name is making me want to run away and they're all pretty chill in a terrifying way :)

\---

**Golly Gee @bugbrainboy**

Who is your favorite Avenger? @spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Well obviously Thor is the hottest but Pepper Potts is my overall favorite :D

**Golly Gee @bugbrainboy**

Does she count???

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

I think she does and if you disagree im pretty sure my gfs gonna jump thru the screen and like murder u pepper is like her crush or something

\---

**Phils Eyelash @pennynotthecoin**

#spideyqna YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

yeah lol and none of you will ever know who she is because she says that she would never be seen in public with me while im wearing spandex so rip

\---

**Lucy in the Sky @heyheyheyheyy**

Tell us about your girlfriend!! #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Actually she just said if she sees me getting sappy on twitter about her on here then shes going to show up at my apartment and take my phone(were in a call while

this is happening lol)

**Cooper @sometimesimabitstupid**

I dont know if I should say 'wow y'all are couple goals' or say 'wow i think thats a bit abbusive'

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

NONONO SHES NICE IN HER OWN WAY THATS JUST A JOKE!!!

\---

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

plez someone ask about hawkeye or anyone else i have Dirt xoxo

**#1 Spidey Fan @flashthompson**

TELL US ABOUT HAWKEYE AND THN TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF

**Hyphen Nazi @respectthehyphen**

#spideyqna tell us about Hawkeye :)

**Beees @bumblebeebuzz**

I wanna hear about the vigilantes that you've interacted with!!

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

OKAY SO THANKS FOR ASKING ABOUT HAWKEYE BASICALLY HE LIKES TO HIDE IN THE VENT BUT HAWKEYE IS A GROWN MAN AND HE IS HEAVIER THEN THE VENT SO HE FELL THRU IT

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Other embarrassing stories include; i scared Hawkeye because i was getting a Midnight Snack to satisfy my Spider Stomach and ApPaRenTlY its not normal to eat on the ceiling

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

Im proud to say that I have scared many people by crawling and/or sitting on the ceiling/walls

**I am Baby @cutiesonlybaby**

Lets hear some stories!! Please? #spideyqna

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**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

jfjkldsjf ok story time my best friend found out my secret identity when i crawled in my bedroom window across the ceiling. Suddenly there he is, waiting in my room!!

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

See like i have my glorified spider anxiety but that only works to warn me of stuff sometimes. 10/10 would not recommend getting spider senses

\-----

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

OKAY so i saw a few people asking about other vigilantes and im out patrolling rn bcuz it is night so ask away if i run into them i will make them answer use #spideyqna still!

\--

**Lesbian Goddess @veroicalol**

How do most of the vigilantes make money? Fighting crime in secret doesn't exactly pay. #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

ok i only got permission to say this a bit ago but mr stark pays me whenever i go and work on my suit he says 'its ur job at this point so i get a fair bit of money from

that but yeah most of us have some kind of day job

\---

**Hottie McMan @josieisajoke**

When is Thor coming back to Earth?

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

hhHHHH GOSH I WISH I COULD ANSWER THAT BUT WE LEGIT HAVE NO WAY OF CONTACTING THOR WHEN HES NOT HERE OTHER THAN THE WIZARD SOOOOOO

\---

**Jared @catscharade**

#spideyqna We all know you think Thor is hot but who's the hottest Vigilante??

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

unfortunately we dont make it a habit of showing off our faces :(

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

dfjf my girlfriend says that Jessica Jones is the hottest so there u go i guess

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

i can already see you all going 'bUt ShOuLdNt ShE bE sAyInG yOuR tHe HoTtEsT sPiDeY' but honestly i agree with her jessica jones has very pretty hair

\---

**Jenny(she/her) @acatisnotadog**

I was leaving my closing shift yesterday and I saw Daredevil leaving some building, run into a wall, look in my direction, and then run away. He doin good? #spideyqna

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

y'all r lucky dd is one of the vigilantes i stay in touch w his friend says that he just has a major concussion so hes hopefully good lol

\--

**Man of Spiders @iamspiderm4n**

heyyy!!! its past midnight which means I have to get home or mr stark will show up and drag me back because hes weird like that so goodnight!! ill do this again at some point!!! xoxo


End file.
